about time we got down to it, right? well, what do we start playing with? as a full-grown adult, we may struggle to toggle play mode on and off. here's how you can get started in increasing order of difficulty.
breathe
(breath & movement section)
playing like a child is physically hard for adults. even if you're physically active, you may find it hard to toggle play mode on. if you're regularly engaged in a sport, you may find yourself more competitive than playful. walk into a children's playground and observe young toddlers at play. there is no structure of the rules that define the sport. there isn't a coordinated pattern of movement like most fitness regimes offer. the look on their faces is simply joyous, unlike the goal-driven athlete's. their bodies are malleable and actions easy, not forced, or frantic. seems like a tall order to pull this off, right?
breath
let's start with something that never stops moving, even when we sleep. the breath. there are plenty of options ranging from ancient yogic pranayama practices to more modern breath-based programs. but that's not what we're gonna start with. instead, just take a deep breath. take another deep full breath. repeat for 2 min. you don't have to suck in a lungful and hold it till you burst. remember you're just playing with your breath. don't make this work. maybe you want to try rapid shallow breaths instead. breathe in through your mouth and breathe out through your nose. or vice versa. it really doesn't matter. breathing isn't an Olympic sport and nobody's keeping score. enjoy the experience of filling your lungs and letting it go. play with your breath. explore how it feels. you can play for 2 minutes every 2 hours. for those 2 minutes, you're not a professional, a spouse, a parent, or any of the myriad titles you've conferred upon yourself. you're just a living being playing with your breath. rediscover the magic in the most mundane activity of your life.
movement
involve all of your body. no fancy routine, equipment, or space needed. right where you are, start moving your body in whatever way you feel like. leave your social and clothing constraints aside, and explore the body. it may feel strange like it doesn't belong to you. you can change that. even if you think you're overweight or unfit, don't let that stop you. remember the scene in kill bill where Uma Thurman is returning from a coma? wiggle your toes or twiddle your thumbs. that's a start. just 2 minutes every 2 hours. sounds like fun? if the answer is no, explore other parts of your body, try to move those muscles you never knew existed. rediscover the connection between your mind and your body. the movement doesn't have to be complicated or even difficult. start playing with simple and mundane physical positions you took for granted. maybe you can explore different ways to sit. in the western world, sitting is only done on a chair. maybe you can try the primal method of sitting; the squat. if that's not easy, try something else. you know you're in the play zone when you're challenging yourself, yet aren't struggling.
NOTE: you've forgotten your body's natural instincts and abilities. don't be overconfident. consult a medical professional before you start.
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move
space and objects
space
humans were designed to travel long distances and explore their surroundings. that spatial exploration is probably only exercised when you're hitting the newest spots in town. don't wait for the weekend. walk around your house or office. maybe you haven't been to the attic in years. maybe you haven't felt the lawn with your bare feet in a while. or ever. take a walk and explore your neighborhood. walk instead of driving down to the store. sit at the playground nearby and watch the kids play. swim at the beach instead of the pool. climb the tree in your backyard. imagine all the things you'd have wanted to do, were you a child on summer vacation. don't feel constrained by time or space. as you explore more, you'll discover which spaces bring joy and which bring you down. frequent the places that make you happy and avoid those that make you anything but. over time you'll realize that you can invoke the spirit of play anywhere and anytime. you don't need to wait for that exotic vacation to a faraway land. you could be in a hammock in your backyard but you can make believe it's the Caribbean. sounds pathetic? well, it is indeed sad that you can no longer invoke the power of imagination that every child can. all is not lost though. you can still develop the power of visualization along with your exploration of space. this will help you unwind from the rigors of reality and provide a safe haven for the child aka curious explorer in you to play.
objects
as you explore the space around you, you'll see the various objects of all shapes and sizes all around you. starting from the furniture at home to the machines at work, objects are everywhere. walk around the city and you'll see everything from parking meters to double-decker buses. technology has brought the most powerful tools into your pocket. yes, we do interact with software apps but let's look first at tangible objects offering tactile feedback. have you explored your relationship with these objects? why not play around and find out what they mean to you?
are you comfortable with the pen that you're writing with? does your office keyboard hurt your wrist? maybe the chair you're sitting on aggravates your sciatica? perhaps you prefer riding in the front of the bus. as you begin to explore the objects around you, the effect they have on you becomes obvious. the way you relate to the objects is dynamic. so you can either change your position in relation to the objects or vice versa. simply put, move things around, add or remove things. have fun noticing how it makes you feel. rearrange the furniture, add a flowerpot, lose that old chair you've been meaning to. you don't have to be a designer to play with your environment. experiment and play with arrangements till you're comfortable in that space. you can do this at home, your office and even your car.
thoughts & feelings
With a child, it's always WYSIWYG. What you see is what you get. A child face is reflective of what's going on inside. Whether you know it or not, you're always thinking and feeling. It's often easier to be aware of others' feelings than one's own. The game of playing with your own thoughts and feelings begins with awareness. Don't you want to know what going on in your head?
thoughts
A child is always aware and happy to share thoughts with anyone who asks. As an adult however you're probably unaware of what exactly you're thinking. Instead of trying to control your thoughts, let's play with them. Of course you need to first figure out what they are. The trusty notebook comes in handy again. For 10 minute, just pen down random letters, words or sentences. It can be completely incoherent nonsense. The game is to just keep writing nonstop for 10 minutes. Slowly increase the time spent to 30 minutes daily. You'll notice that you'll actually start making sense of what you're writing. The random words begin to reflect what's actually inside your head. Don't be surprised by the content. Most of what happens in our minds is unknown to the conscious self. This game will help you discover more of yourself. Know your thoughts and collect them in your notebook. People collect stamps and coins, you collect thoughts. When you are comfortable collecting them, you can now start understanding them better. Which ones are more frequent? What thoughts make you uncomfortable? Who features most in your happy thoughts? It's vital to actually write all this and not just think. You don't want to overload your brain with thoughts. The trusty notebook however is quite capable of holding it's own against the most overbearing thoughts. Now that you're navigating the sea of thoughts, you'll find yourself being drawn into it's depths. Here lie monsters...
feelings
Diving beneath the thought waves, you will find feelings. Herein lie monsters created by the unexpressed emotions of hurt, anger, fear, and doubt from the past. As a child you're raised to enjoy the happy feelings and avoid the not so happy ones. however, it is important to understand that all emotions are to be experienced and expressed. But most grow up experiencing that expressing feelings honestly doesn't yield the best results. Nobody wants to hear you, nobody wants to be with you and those that do, still don't understand you. Joyous emotions are showcased, shared, and celebrated. But those of hurt, anger, fear, and doubt are unattended to. The continued suppression eventually results in sudden uncontrollable outbursts or tantrums which are then placated or punished. neither of which is a healthy response to emotional expression. It's a daunting task to begin to identify, understand, and express your feelings. These scary monsters are born of your own feelings, so rather than vanquish or conquer them, let's play with them. Storytelling is a safe and simple way to start. Tell a story. Start by telling stories of characters you relate to. As you get comfy telling others stories, try telling your own story. Write the stories in your trusty notebook. Base it on events that happened to you. You could start with happy events and then about those that hurt you and left you scarred. Writing in the third person helps you detach from the intense feelings. This helps you heal and understand your role in making any experience better or worse. Now that you have it written out, you can read it out aloud in private. Remember you can always talk to an inanimate audience (remember Wilson the volleyball in Castaway?). The next level of expression is reading it out to a trusted confidant. Eventually you can express it directly to the person involved (if any or if possible). Play is not a frivolous activity. Especially while playing with feelings, it can be intense and intimate. Maybe at times even serious and scary. But as you start playing with your thoughts and feelings, you'll befriend them. And then they won't be monsters anymore. They'll be your friends for life! Remember, in the landscape of emotions, none are positive or negative. Experience them for what they are and express without guilt, shame or fear of punishment; physical, mental, or social.
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shout
(sounds & speech)
when you're born, that first scream you let out is celebrated as a sign of life. children play around with sounds before they learn a structured and recognizable pattern called language. the growing child seeks to be accepted into this socially acceptable speech pattern. anything outside of the norm becomes a funny or weird accent. those who fail to subscribe face ridicule or even ostracised. so everyone tries their best to mimic everyone else. those who are bilingual or multilingual explore a greater variety of sounds if the languages are very different. singers enjoy a greater repertoire of sound exploration but what about the rest?
sounds
one of the easiest mediums to play with, if you can overcome the fear of being ridiculed. start with the easiest variable of volume. try to whisper as softly as you can. the switch to shouting as loud as you can. if you manage to not scare the neighbors, you'll soon be having a blast. pitch is another variable you can play around with. try to mimic different personalities. The game can be played alone or you can take and entertain others. Don't limit yourself to humans, try to imitate the birds and animals around you. Remember our tribal brethren are capable of communicating with animals. So give it a try. Even if you fail, you'll be entertaining the animals around :) Interestingly enough, we are a species gifted with the ability to mimic most animals around us. you don't hear a dog meowing or a cat barking do you? but as a human, you can do both. so let's play around and have fun with this gift. along the way, you'll discover rhythm and maybe create catchy melodies. you don't need to be a singer to play with notes and scales. you don't even need to know what they are. the mood you are in will evoke the corresponding scale. remember the goal here is not to learn, but simply to play with sound as a medium. as you get comfortable, you can record yourself and maintain an audio log of your vocal adventures. even if you're engaged only as a solo activity, comfort with your vocal capabilities will make you socially more confident. you can begin translating this newfound confidence into socially acceptable and understandable speech.
speech
The ability to speak in a common language is necessary for groups of people to co-exist. Most of the world today speak a common language. the ability to address large groups or even small gatherings is lacking in most individuals. the fear of facing crowds is a palpable one which very few ever overcome. let's just being with facing an audience of one - yourself. face a mirror and introduce yourself. to yourself. so meta. that's not so difficult, is it? your name, profession, and personal preferences will suffice. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Over time attempt to emote while speaking. Try enacting scenes from your favorite movie. Let your favorite actors' lines flow through your speech. Feel the emotion coursing through as you speak. You could also read out famous speeches or explore reciting poetry. Don't hesitate to explore outside of your literary comfort zone. When you start enjoying the process, try it out in front of a friendly audience. Friends and family may not always be the best bet here. Sometimes strangers on the train may actually be more appreciative of your efforts. Public speaking is a rare skill and once word gets around everyone will want you to speak at social gatherings. It won't be long before you're called on stage to speak. Regardless, remember the most important audience is always the man in the mirror.
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share
(together section)
Now that we got the rules (no rules) out of the way, let's look at how we can play better together. It's always harder to start playing with others if you don't know them. Getting to know each other takes time. That is the time everyone would rather spend playing. So let's make an introduction into a game.
all about me
How would you introduce yourself in the strangest way possible? Perhaps as a swashbuckling pirate? Maybe an intergalactic alien? Outline three of your most endearing attributes and three most annoying eccentricities. Good or bad, everything would be more colorful when enacted dramatically. Not everyone wants a dramatic entrance but the effort you put in is likely to be appreciated. In the world of the interwebs, a written or a visual introduction posted online goes a long way in telling others about yourself. But being colorful is only the icing on the cake. The real connection happens when you express honestly who you are, what you like and what you dislike.
it's not all about me
No friendship would survive if it were self-centered. Make sure you get to know the person you're befriending by asking the same questions. Now that you know each other better, you're both along for the ride. Let's see where you can take it together. If you understand this well, you can apply it anywhere, personal relationships or professional partnerships.
If making friends is challenging enough, staying friends is often even tougher. It's not always going to be fun and games. how do you make sure it is always mutually beneficial? How do you stay together without wanting to walk away, or worse, destroy each other? How indeed?
It helps to understand that this is a game that you're playing together. It really doesn't matter who wins or who loses. Well, sure it does. But then again, it really doesn't. What matters more is how well you both played together. If you place that above all else, you have a long-standing friendship ahead of you. Following the rules of play as described in the next section is a great start.
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make
(canvas & colours)
Doodled walls are a sure sign of young children in a house. Children have no hesitation to use any surface as a canvas to paint on. They'll even be doodling with ketchup on the dinner plate while eating. Our ancestors painted on the cave walls but we stop our children from doing the same. Ironically enough they're expected to study about this later in school/college. Did you know Picasso could paint like the Masters in just a few years? But he spent his entire life to be able to draw like a child.
canvas
The easiest way to start (assuming you're wall shy) is to grab a piece of paper. That's not so difficult, is it? Step two is to put a pen or pencil to the paper and move it around, anyway, anyhow. Just keep moving for 20seconds without lifting it off the paper. Voila! Your first artwork. Frame it on the wall if you like. Somehow everything becomes more socially acceptable with a frame around it. The scale of work is not important. You could do the same exercise on a post-it note. As you get more playful, try doodling on the bathroom mirror with toothpaste. As with all things fun and playful, expect to hear an earful. Don't worry, as long as you're not using someone else as a canvas, it's all good. Once your hand is comfortable flowing around, you can try shapes, characters, places, animals, etc. More important is the ability to communicate through pictures. Can you tell a story with your scribbles? Here's a fun exercise. Leave notes for your partner/family on the refrigerator, but in pictures instead of words. It would be amusing to hear other’s interpretations of your expression. Draw a self-portrait. In all your various moods. Maybe draw yourself as you wish you were. Imagination is a gift easily developed through drawing.
colors
Playing with colors can scare even the most professional artists. Lucky for you, the goal is only to play, not to awe. Feel free to make your art as ugly or as beautiful as you dare. In either case, you'll find one man's art is another man's trash. The response to your creations is quite subjective. Playing with colors makes you bolder in your experiments. You'll also find yourself studying the world around you intently and enthusiastically. The tiring ride back home from work can offer a fresh perspective. Each color strikes a corresponding chord and evokes a different mood. Wouldn't you like to discover which? You could even play with readymade coloring books. Don't get stuck coloring on your iPad however. The joy lies in getting your hands dirty. The messiness is part of the fun. You can also start playing with watercolor, which seems to have a mind of its own. Experience and enjoy all the colors without playing favorites. Let the rainbow shine through in all it's glory.
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